Wahala Pro Max (episode 3)

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I had been praying to meet the woman of my dreams, but it had been breakfast after breakfast, different cooks, a variety of delicacies all served to me, poor me. After listening to several of Adele’s albums, I had a few favorites that had helped me through stormy nights. I was humming one of them when I saw her on Tinder. She was like a ray of sunshine, a breath of fresh air. Goodness! One could stare at her all day. Been a while since I felt like this about anything or anyone.

So right there, I needed to take the fate of my future into my present hands and swipe right at her. We got talking and mehn, it was just amazing. With her, time flew really fast as the seconds inched along, that would make sense if you were in my shoes.

After a month or so of talking, we agreed to meet up for a proper date and I honestly could not wait. The night before, a client called me and requested that we meet the next day. Ehn, next day ke? Can the meeting be rescheduled? Can we skip it already? Not the day I planned to meet my woman. Yeah, she was that and more.

Eventually, I agreed and mentioned that the meeting had to be held in the morning at the nearest mall. I woke up at 5 AM, something that rarely happens, and prayed extra special for a great day. I eventually rushed out at 7 and met with the client. Turns out it was a small issue, one that could’ve been sorted over email.

The organization needed a way to request payments from its customers and I told them they needed Figo because it gave them the luxury of requesting and claiming payments with ease. They nodded in appreciation and offered me a late breakfast, but I declined, saying I had another appointment. I quickly jumped in my 2020 BMW X3 and hit an electric pole as I swerved sharply to avoid colliding with a bike.

Amidst the curses from both driver and passenger, I examined my car, and honestly, it felt like a bad day already. I called my mechanic to tell him what happened, where the car was, and the fact that he needed to hurry. As I took a few N1000 notes from the cash stash in my pocket to bribe one of the mall’s security guards so he could watch my car, that was when the presence of sweat on my brows jolted my memory and I remembered my date. Checking my wristwatch, I quickly stopped the next bike, and without haggling, I hopped on. Locating the restaurant was not hard as it was pretty popular, and pricey. I wanted to make a great first impression. I needed to cool off, so I quickly joined the restaurant’s security man under the shade of a tree. I hope he did not think I was infringing on his space.

I eventually walked in after a million adjustments to my outfit, and for real, seeing her just made my whole day seem better, I really needed it. We talked while we ate and honestly, I had an amazing time. She was funny, smart, and had witty replies and a sense of humor that’d make me want to marry her as soon as I could.

But then, in line with the events of the day, tragedy struck again. I noticed earlier that I had forgotten my wallet in the car and from the GPS tracker, it was already on the way to the mechanic’s shop. I desperately prayed that my bank token would be with me, but then, I probably left it in one of the compartments, or was it at home? God abeg.

At a loss of what to do, I politely asked that I be excused to use the restroom. After staring at the mirror for a few minutes, loosened tie, and several beads of sweat springing up from nowhere, I did not know when I found myself landing with a thud after jumping from the toilet's window. Errr, so I know what this looks like, but I needed help and I couldn’t exactly think in the confines of the building. I glanced furtively at the main building as I called my best friend and my other friends who were hanging out in his house.

I explained that I needed to be bailed out, and amidst the catcalls and teasing, he decided to be serious and help me. He and my guys eventually sent me some money through the Figo Payment app. It dropped in seconds.

While all of this was happening, the security man kept staring at me, a suppressed grin hidden somewhere, or maybe I was the one who saw one, I mean I would laugh at myself too. I could imagine the headline, “man in suit seen mopping the floor of Godiva restaurant for not being able to pay the bill”.

Also, Ifeoma would not want to have anything to do with me again. Remembering my date, I politely asked if there was a way in through the back, but the security man said I could only use the front door. I decided to face my fears as I jogged in.

On getting inside the restaurant, the burst of cool air hit me as I tried to sort out the bill and manage to explain what happened to my date. While all of this happened, she stormed out angrily, and I ran after her immediately, trying to explain. She got on a bike and left. Could my day get any worse?