How I Became A Millionaire In Less Than A Month

  1. HUMOR


Photo licensed via IStockPhoto

When I was a kid, people called me Matt. Now, everyone calls me rich.

The reason? I become a millionaire in less than a month, thanks to several unconventional strategies. And despite my immense level of wealth, I’ve remained humble by acknowledging my privilege whenever I fly in a private jet.

So, I want to share an inspirational story of how I become a millionaire in a short period of time. Hopefully, it’ll inspire you to become incredibly wealthy (like me).

I Spent Hundreds Of Hours Trying To Build A Successful Business

I’ll put a strong emphasis on the word trying. Apparently, people aren’t interested in paying $9.99 per month for a website that broadcasts your browsing history to friends and family.

Hmm. I wonder why.

Sadly, my entrepreneurial venture only made $50,000, so I was forced to shut it down. And while some people might say that amount of revenue is fairly good, I’m deeply ashamed because I lost money. Heck, I paid a web developer 75 grand just to build the damn site!

Upon realizing that I wasn’t successful, I ate some ice cream and cried while watching Finding Nemo. Then, I picked up the phone and did what anyone else would do in the same situation.

I Asked My Father For A Small Loan of $1 Million

He was reluctant to give me anything at first. And to be honest, I don’t blame him. A few years prior, he gave me $10,000 to purchase books for college. However, I spent every cent on first-class plane tickets to The Bahamas. Oops.

It took a little bit of convincing. But in the end, my rich father agreed to give me the money — as long as I used it for noble purposes. We agreed on 0% interest and an indefinite loan period. All the paperwork was signed the following evening while enjoying some caviar. It was beautiful.

“I’m a millionaire!” That’s what I yelled at the top of my lungs while exiting his 12-bedroom mansion. I then posted a screenshot of my bank account on Instagram to prove that my net worth exceeded one million dollars. Plus, the bragging rights were awesome.

That evening, I celebrated my newly-found wealth by ordering takeout from McDonald’s. But instead of ordering from the dollar menu (like usual), I opted for a double cheeseburger with fries. I also tipped the delivery driver $10 to give back to the local community. In case you didn’t know, I’m generous AF.

I became a millionaire in less than a month by obtaining a small loan from my rich father. Of course, making a large amount of money might seem difficult. But I’ve done it. Which means you can, as well.

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Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Information will be inaccurate, so please don’t take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered business, financial, health or any other type of advice.